16 January 2009
today i am bitter.
i'm crushed.
i'm disappointed.
the good thing is, it's not as tragic or heart-wrenching as edward's brief departure from bella's life in new moon. (a pathetic attempt IMO, anyways.)
and you know why?
i'ts because all this while you've been at a distance from me.
i barely know you. other than the fact that you're unexpectedly intelligent and ridiculously attractive.
i hate people like you.
how can things come in such perfect packages?
how can one have both the looks and brains?
i guess i've yet to learn what the world beholds.
frankly speaking.
i've always hoped for a better future.
nothing that would come to this when the opportunity did come up.
so close yet extremely far.
it's utterly disheartening to have you in my grasp when all that happens is the worst.
why are you so nonreactive towards me?
why am i so invisible to you?
why do you not acknowledge my presence.
heck, i'm not asking for a warm embrace.
just a little gesture. a smile.
make that a sincere one at least.
i'm trying my best damnit.
am i coming off as something else?
or dou you jsut not like the person that i am?
are you not able to accept me for who i am and the self that i try to stay true to?
do feel better clinging on to those who are just like you?
those who possess things or qualities that you do?
am i not verbally inclined for you?
am i not cool? funny?
what?
just what is the problem?
i want to know.
i don't want to let go of this moment.
i don't want to lose faith in what i've always belived.
i don't it to just be wishful thinking.
i want it to come true.
i'm selfish.
and i'm human.
and if time forbids you from me.
i guess i'll just settle for worthless fantasies.
i won't falter though.
only time will tell what'll become of this.
i promise. whatever happens, i won't let this break me.
i refuse to cry over you.
i just won't.
8:16 PM
