20 October 2008
whaddup?
i'm back with digest post-exam.
what i mean by digest? umm.
it's like..
well, think of reader's digest.
it has lots of info n stuff inside.
post-exam digest is whatever i have to say after my exams.
by exams i mean the dreadful always a bitch EOYs.
yep. today was liberation day.
THE day.
(one of the many THE days actually)
eoys have been so tiring.
unlikely anything else, it actually drains out your energy to the maximum.
with that said, headaches and numb sensations were common during that period of time.
anyways.
moving on to matters far more..
vividly describable.
ahh. the eoys.
those hurtful pieces of paper covered with poisonous ink!
yes. it
hurts.
well, they decided to have 2 language subjects tested on the same day.
clever, huh?
that meant countless MOV quotes PLUS 60 peribahasa.
yeahyeah you other people have more to memorize or what not.
but it's still equal.
stil!
equal doesn't mean it was justifiable.
it was stressful okayy.
then there way geog.
it was.. okay.
okay never really means
okay.
you know that right?
history.. well let's just say..
i got carried away writing the essay and wrote a one-sided one.
i know.
clever, huh?
ooh. after that was...
MATHS.
i thought i studied ENOUGH.
but noo...
the setters had to make the freaking hard INCREDIBLY difficult.
YES. IT WAS DIFFICULT.
the headaches came to me while i was doing the paper!!!!
it was THAT difficult.
urgh.
all this pissing-off makes me really pissed.
(haha)
finefine.
last and certainly NEVER THE LEAST (in terms of difficulty)
was science.
my good ol' buddy science.
we've been ancient rivals since.. oh i dunno.
primary school?!
but somehow it didn't really cause me headaches like maths did.
perhaps it was me giving up.
i know.
give up?
nah. not really give up.
i was tired and i didn't want to go through another maths experience..
but overall, how i feel towards my effort for the eoy...
UTTERLY DISAPPOINTING.
it was evident on maths and science day.
maths.. i thought i had it. i thought i could handle it.
but as always, i was wrong.
science.. well, i was watching pan's labyrinth while revising.
but heck 15% of the time my eyes were on the tv.
so you go figure.
did i put in enough?
i really hope im wrong.
but hey, exams are over.
FINALLY.
and now i get to go back to my tv slumber.
ahh. how i love (AMERICAN) television.
all my fvourites.. how i missed them over the course of hell week.
but there were alot of interesting things that occured during hell week.
most prominently..
THE RETURN OF BEYONCE KNOWLES!!!!
and it's not only beyonce that's serving up a storm in november..
but guess what?!
it'll be a dobule treat!
SASHA FIERCE IS IN THE HOUSE TOO!!!
yes, shasha, her alter ego.
so watch out everyone, coz 'I Am..." will be hitting stores November 18th!
(promotion of beyonce ends)
hahah.
(also end of light-hearted stuff)
hummmmmmmmmm.
'change'.
it's very intriguing.
and i've noticed lots of it throughout the course of this year.
and yes, it's one of the many things that i'm afraid of.
one particular type of cahnge..
are your friends.
be it new friends come and old ones go.
or the same ones are just.. different.
there's the issue that happened the first quarterof the year..
you know.
that.
just recently.. maybe a few mths ago.
i met up with u guys.. not purpusefully though.
and i realized i didn't want to be around you guys anymore.
no, in fact, i never did.
and more recently, one of you guys asked me to join the outing that was planned.
you asked if i could go and i said i couldn't.
coz i still had eoys. that's an honest answer.
but what you didn't know was that there's another part to the answer.
if you had asked me if i wanted to go.. i would've said..
ever-so bluntly, straight to the face.
no.
why would i risk it?
being in agroup of people and knowing that in one way or another, i would be ostracized.
so my answer's NO.
not next year, not even last year.
last year was just a lie.
a facade.
and you knwo waht this also means?
i'm not the kind of person who easily forgives. i just don't do that kind of thing.
and then there's my classmates.
they have changed.
i mean, seriously.. CHANGED.
for the better or worse..
i think it's the latter but who am i to judge.
i dunno. it feels weird.. how they're totally different personalities.
the change.. it's as though we've all grwon easily adapted to each others' changes.
but me..
i think i'm still the same person.
it's got nothing to do with me being boring and not unique.
i think what i'm doing.. is a sign of independence.
a sign that shows i am true to myself, what i believe in, the person i've always been.
it's not to please a group of the 'it' people or to fit in with them..
it's to make sure that i never, ever lose track of who 'I Am...'
(no pun intended)
i guess when it comes to change it's up to the person to decide if it's good or bad.
and even if it is bad, then ultimately their choice.
but nonetheless, when change happens to someone close to me, it affects me.
and it worries me.
ahh well.
9:05 PM
