18 July 2007
WIRgutenNACHT.
iJUSTsaidGOODnightALLofYOUinGERM.
germ'sKINDAinteresting.
youKNOWwhatI'VEbeenTHINKING.
iTHOUGHTthatMAYBEiSHOULDmakeTHISpostAmeaningfulONE.
probablyMEANINGFULtoMEonly.
andNOTtoYOU.
butHOPEyouUNDERSTAND,yeah?
well.
let'sSEE.
i'veGONEthrough
A L O T thePASThalfAyear.
andALLthatIcanREMEMBERareKINDAtheBADthings.
butYEAH.
iDOrealizeTHEREwereSOMEpositiveTHINGSthatHAPPENEDhereANDthere.
andI'VEbeenKINDA...
e m o ..?
ifYOU'DlikeTOputITthatWAY.
andDOyouWANTtoKNOWwhy?
becauseIdon'tLIKEaLOTofTHINGS.
aLOTofTHINGSthatHAPPENEDorIhadTOdo.
andiDON'TlikeAlotOFpeople.
it'sREALLYnatural, ACTUALLY.
cozTHEpeopleIdon'tLIKEare
NATURALLY unlikeable,
ACTUALLY.
uhuh.
wonderWHYiWASN'TlikeTHISlastYEAR.
cozTHEpeopleWEREN'TthatUNLIKEABLE.
andHONESTLY.
cozTHEREwereGIRLStoBALANCEitOUT.
whyDOiSAYthat?
becauseAlotOFbuysAREjustTOOdumb.
stupid.
immature.
blind.
orJUSTplain
S T U P I D.
that'sWHATi'veCOMEupWITHafterGOINGthroughMONTHSwithSUCHpeople.
allTHESEhaveAFFECTEDmeMANYwaysTHANiTHOUGHTpossible.
emotionally.
mentally
(i'mNOTcrazyOK...)(notPHYSICALLYtho)
and...
academically.
yeah.
youDON'ThaveTOcompareMYresultsTOsomeoneELSE'Sone.
justCOMPAREtoMINElastYEAR.
youCANseeONEbigPIECEofBRAINthatISmissing.
it'sSObig,YOUcanPUToneWHOLEfistINTOit.
yup.
that'sONEofMYmajorPROBLEMS.
i'mSTILLtryingTHOUGH.
iCAN'TgiveUP,right?
okTHEN.
putTHATaside.
andYOUgetPROBLEMSwithRELATIONSHIPS.
yeah.
almostALLofTHEMareCOMPLICATED.
andLIKEiSAID.
it'sBECAUSEiNATURALLYdislikeDUMBpeople.
(whenImeanDUMB,iDON'TmeanACADEMICALLY)
iDON'TreallyWANTtoTALKaboutTHIScozALLofTHEMareSOfullOFcrap.
yes.
crap.
crap.
andMOREcrap.iMEAN,seriosuly.
canYOUguysGETanymoreTYPICALandSTUPIDER?
itDISGUSTSme.
u t t e r l y.
soWHATEVERla.
hahah.
it'sFUNNY.
cozI'MhavingDOUBTSaboutPOSTINGthisENTRY.
cozHONESTLY,it'sNOTanANGSTYone.
inFACT.
i'mKINDAhappyRIGHTnow.
(despiteTHATfactIhaveTOwriteAformalLETTERafterTHIS)
IwannaSAYsomethingFIRST,beforeMOVINGoNTOtheNORMALstuffs.
i don't know what you mean and by saying this i don't mean it literally.that's why i keep my distance.so don't go blaming me for disliking you or whatsoever.coz sometimes it might seem unreasonable.tell you what, it never was unreasonable disliking.you're just too blind to see the reason.so that's why.the next time it happens.think.
ratherCONFUSING,huh?
wellYEAH.
that'sHOWiAM.
soANYWAYS.
tomorrowTHERE'LLbeRACIALharmonyCELEBRATION.
aCAUSEforCELEBRATION?
well DUH.
hahah.
goREADsya'sBLOG.
she'sPROMOTINGracialHARMONY.
so.
yeahh.
hahah.
offTOdoTHEformalLETTERwriting.
aufWIEDERSEIN!
9:06 PM
