23 May 2007
foundTHEcamera.
andABOUTtoFINISHmathsPOSTER.
it'sTURNINGoutTOlikeRATHERnice.
yupp.
iLOVEmakingMATHSpostersLOOKnice.
but.
iCANreallyMAKEpeopleLOOKbad.
uhuh.
wellTHAT'SjustONEofTEHthingsTHATdefineME.
talkingABOUTthat.
iHADpdiWITHmsTEOyesterday.
iTHOUGHTitWASgonnaBEsuperPERSONAL.
butITwasNOTthatREALLYpersonal.
oneTHINGsheSAIDwas.
thatSHEseesMEasTHEtypeOFpersonWHOisn'tEASILYtakenDOWNbyWHATothersSAY.
i'veREFLECTEDonTHISbefore.
severalTIMESactually.
iAGREEthisTOumm.
someEXTENT?
cozYES.
mostOFtheTIMEi'mNOTreallyVULNERABLEtoWORDS.
butAStheCLICHEgoes.
stickANDstonesMAYbreakMYbonesBUTwordsCANkill.
inMYsituation.
wordsOCCASIONALLYputMEthroughEMOTIONALbreakdowns.
weirdITmightSEEM.
still.
thingsIorOTHERSdoMAYleadTOsuchHORRIBLErealizations.
andEVEN.
whatIorOTHERSdon'tDO.
cozYOUsee.
almostALLmyLIFE.
i'veBEENtryingTOfindSOMEBODYwhoISN'TdeceptiveINanyWAY.
andAPPARENTLY.
iHAVEN'TfoundHIM.
orHER.
I'MnotSUREyetREALLY.
likeSYAsaid.
iCANseeNEWdevelopment.
iTRULYdeeplyMADLYhopeITworksOUT.
argh.
itakeBACKwhatIsaid.
iDOhaveSUCHpeopleINmyLIFE.
andI'MreallyGLADiHAVEthem.
mostIMPORTANTLY.
myFAMILY.
noMATTERhowMUCHiMIGHThateORthemATaPARTICULARmoment.
iSTILLloveTHEM.
yeah.
iREALLYdo.
and.
i'mNOTsureYOIguysFEELtheSAMEwayABOUTme.
butI'MquiteCLOSEtoTHESEtoFRIENDS.
yup.
...
syaANDnia.
haha.
weird?
hopeNOT.
they'reKINDAthePEOPLEwho'veNEVERreallyTURNEDtheirBACKSonME.
andEVENTHOUGHmaybeTHEREwereTHOSElittleTIMEStheyDID.
iDON'ThateTHEM.
andTHAT'SoneOFmyMANYproblems.
iHATEtooMUCH.
andIFyou'reREADINGthis.
whoever.
iMIGHTjustHATEyouTHOUGHiDON'TREALLYshowIT.
haha.
yeah.
ifYOUaskME.
itDOESactuallyHURT.
toEXPRESSmyselfHERE.
cozIdon'tWANTtoOBLIBERATEmyself.
cozAFTERallTHISisAblog.
myBLOG.
wellYEAH.
i'mNOTsureWHYiSUDDENLYsaidALLthis.
iGUESSallTHEstressISfinallyCATCHINGup.
honestly.
i'mTIRED.
andIhateFEELINGthisWAY.
iHATEallTHEwork.
iHATEtheRUSH.
butONEthing'sFORsure.
iDON'ThateTOhate.
contradicts?
whoCARES.
well.
SEEMSlikeTHISpostHASturnedOUTtoBE.
aCONFESSION.
11:27 PM
