Hello world.

29 May 2007

helloBITCH.
lol.
okSOguessWHAT.
iBELIEVEthatIamGOALKEEPINGforTHErestOFmyLIFE.
justGREATright?
yeahWHATEVER.
actuallyGOALKEEPINGisn'tTHATbad.
butIT'SjustBREATH-TAKING.
literally.
there'sSOmanyTHICKpadsTHATi'veTOputON.
it'sSOsickening.
makesMEkindaBRETHLESSafterSOMEtime.
butWHATEVER.
iSHALLmakeTHEbestOUTofIT.
betterTHANnothing.
tomorrowIStheMALAYSIAtripFORtheMALAYpeople.
notLIKEi'mGOING.
it'sJUSTfyi.
and.
iDUNNOEwhenIcanMAKEitFORtheEXCHANGEthing.
whenARH?
besokTAKleh.
actuallyBOLEHbutI'LLbeTIRED.
thursdayVESAKdaySOcannotCOZmyRELATIVEScoming.
justTOlepak2.
fridayALSOtheSAMEsituationASbesok.
saturday?
sunday?
weekendsAREaHUGEnono.
siaperSEHtanakREST??
thenMONDAYhaveCOMPETITION.
tuesday.
arr.
i'mNOTthatSUREwhenELSEiHAVEcompetition.
soI'LLgoCHECKlaterORwheneverANDtellYOUguys,K?
ok.
nowSOboring.
iSHOULDstudyORdoHOMEWORK.
butI'Mtired.
butIshouldDO.
okTHEN.
iWILL.
goodnightYOUS.

9:43 PM

26 May 2007

youKNOWwhat?
noREALLY.
doYOUreallyREALLYreallyKNOWwhat?
iAM SICK AND DAMN TIRED.
ofALLthisSHITthatTHEmessedUP BULLSHIT thatANYONEorANYTHINGcouldPOSSIBLYgive.
andIWISHiCOULDsayTHATi'm DAMN FREAKING GLAD thatTHEholidaysAREhereAND that FREAKING SCHOOL isOVER.
sadlyENOUGH.
itISN'TasCLOSEtoBEING TRUE.
cozSOME STUPID STUPID thing.
isCRAMPINGmy WHOLE holiday.
thatIcan'tEVENdoWHATiWANT.
i WANT to STUDY.
i NEED to STUDY.
andI DON'T NEED theEXTRAstress.
andGUESSwhat.
i'mGONNAstudy.
andIdon'tCAREifTHATmeansMEhavingTOskipTRAINING.
i'mGONNAstudy.
andI'MgonnaMAKE SURE.
thatIgetTOdoOTHERthings.
soANYofYOUwhoisTHINKINGofGIVINGmeSOME BULLSHIT OFyours.
betterTHINKtwice.
i'm dissappointed.
a probable dissappointment.
andIwantTOchangeTHAT.
noMATTERtheCOST.
youKNOWsomethingELSE?
i'mACTUALLYkindOFsickOFpostingSUCHangstyTHINGSinMYblog.
butAPPARENTLYiCAN'TstopMYSELF.
andTHERE'SaLOTofREASONS.
butWHATtheHECK.
forASlongASiREMEMBER.
thisIShowI'VEbeen.
so.
LIVE WITH IT.

8:42 PM

23 May 2007

foundTHEcamera.
andABOUTtoFINISHmathsPOSTER.
it'sTURNINGoutTOlikeRATHERnice.
yupp.
iLOVEmakingMATHSpostersLOOKnice.
but.
iCANreallyMAKEpeopleLOOKbad.
uhuh.
wellTHAT'SjustONEofTEHthingsTHATdefineME.
talkingABOUTthat.
iHADpdiWITHmsTEOyesterday.
iTHOUGHTitWASgonnaBEsuperPERSONAL.
butITwasNOTthatREALLYpersonal.
oneTHINGsheSAIDwas.
thatSHEseesMEasTHEtypeOFpersonWHOisn'tEASILYtakenDOWNbyWHATothersSAY.
i'veREFLECTEDonTHISbefore.
severalTIMESactually.
iAGREEthisTOumm.
someEXTENT?
cozYES.
mostOFtheTIMEi'mNOTreallyVULNERABLEtoWORDS.
butAStheCLICHEgoes.
stickANDstonesMAYbreakMYbonesBUTwordsCANkill.
inMYsituation.
wordsOCCASIONALLYputMEthroughEMOTIONALbreakdowns.
weirdITmightSEEM.
still.
thingsIorOTHERSdoMAYleadTOsuchHORRIBLErealizations.
andEVEN.
whatIorOTHERSdon'tDO.
cozYOUsee.
almostALLmyLIFE.
i'veBEENtryingTOfindSOMEBODYwhoISN'TdeceptiveINanyWAY.
andAPPARENTLY.
iHAVEN'TfoundHIM.
orHER.
I'MnotSUREyetREALLY.
likeSYAsaid.
iCANseeNEWdevelopment.
iTRULYdeeplyMADLYhopeITworksOUT.
argh.
itakeBACKwhatIsaid.
iDOhaveSUCHpeopleINmyLIFE.
andI'MreallyGLADiHAVEthem.
mostIMPORTANTLY.
myFAMILY.
noMATTERhowMUCHiMIGHThateORthemATaPARTICULARmoment.
iSTILLloveTHEM.
yeah.
iREALLYdo.
and.
i'mNOTsureYOIguysFEELtheSAMEwayABOUTme.
butI'MquiteCLOSEtoTHESEtoFRIENDS.
yup.
...
syaANDnia.
haha.
weird?
hopeNOT.
they'reKINDAthePEOPLEwho'veNEVERreallyTURNEDtheirBACKSonME.
andEVENTHOUGHmaybeTHEREwereTHOSElittleTIMEStheyDID.
iDON'ThateTHEM.
andTHAT'SoneOFmyMANYproblems.
iHATEtooMUCH.
andIFyou'reREADINGthis.
whoever.
iMIGHTjustHATEyouTHOUGHiDON'TREALLYshowIT.
haha.
yeah.
ifYOUaskME.
itDOESactuallyHURT.
toEXPRESSmyselfHERE.
cozIdon'tWANTtoOBLIBERATEmyself.
cozAFTERallTHISisAblog.
myBLOG.
wellYEAH.
i'mNOTsureWHYiSUDDENLYsaidALLthis.
iGUESSallTHEstressISfinallyCATCHINGup.
honestly.
i'mTIRED.
andIhateFEELINGthisWAY.
iHATEallTHEwork.
iHATEtheRUSH.
butONEthing'sFORsure.
iDON'ThateTOhate.
contradicts?
whoCARES.
well.
SEEMSlikeTHISpostHASturnedOUTtoBE.
aCONFESSION.

11:27 PM

22 May 2007

iHAVEoneTHINGtoSAY.
fuck.
yes.
iDON'TbotherTOelaborateFURTHER.
butJUSTknowIThasSOMETHINGtoDOwith.
camera.
stomachache.
andWHEREauntyHELENworks.
ohANDmaths.
hopeTHATmakesSENSE.

8:49 PM

19 May 2007

hello.
it'sBEENlongENOUGH.
kinda.
cozBLOGGERsuckedUPthesePASTfewDAYSsoIdidn'tBOTHERtryingTOpost.
andSO.
itISsaturday.
andUM.
oh.
thisMONDAY.
there'sGONNAbeHOCKEYcompetition.
andI'MkindaNERVOUS.
cozIdon'tTHINKi'mGOOD.
iTHINKiSUCK.
yupp.
suck.
butSTILLi'llHAVEtoTRY.
don'tTHINKi'llBEtheFIRSTsixTOplay.
yeah.
cozIsuck.
heheh.
onAlighterNOTE.
theHOLIDAYSareCOMINGandOOHiCANtasteIT!
soCLOSE!
justONEmoreWEEKofSCHOOL.
then.
bye!
godIneedAbreakFROMeverythingATschool.
E V E R Y T H I N G!
seemsLIKEmySISfeelsTHEsameWAYtoo.
haha.
weKINDAbrieflyPLANNEDwhatWE'REgonnaDO.
asINjustSAYla.
we'rNOTthatORGANIZWEDyouKNOW.
theFIRSTthingAFTERschoolENDSisTOwatchAmovie.
thatISpiratesOFtheCARRIBEAN.
uhuhh.
andTHElistGOESon.
butTHENwe'reGONNAstudyTOOla.
mySCORESsuck.
S U C K.
yup.
theySUCKtoo.
beliveME.
i'mSUCKINGatAlotOFstuffRIGHTnow.
andIhopeTOchangeTHAT.
anyways.
iCAN'TwaitFORsomethingELSE.
yupp.
theDAYthatTHEthreeOFusAREgoingOUT.
youKNOWwhoYOUare.
well.
iGUESSthatKINDAsumsUPwhatIcanTHINKofRIGHTnow.
yeah.
i'mGONNAgoOFFnow.
dunnoeIFi'mGONNAwaitANYlonger.
dunnoeIFiCAN.
lol.
okBEFOREiGOoff.
iHAVEoneTHINGtoSAY.
iTHINKyou'reIRRITATINGtoo.
andYOUshouldn'tBEwonderingWHYthat'sHAPPENINGtoYOU.
it'sPRETTYobvious.
((:

8:59 PM

14 May 2007

goodEVENINGoneANDall.
heh.
checkOUTmySU[PPOSEDLYpreviousPOST.
it'sSUPPOSEDtoBEsaturday'sBUTbloggerWASf-edUP.
soHEREitIS.
umm.
there'sSOMETHINGfreakinglyWRONGwithBLOGGER.
anyways.
iHAVEN'TbeenPOSTING.
coz.
1:CCTS.
2:LAZY.
3:BLOGGER.
butNOWiGUESSiSHALLtryTOscrapeUPeveryLITTLEdetailOFthePASTseveralDAYS.
urr.
i'mNOTgoodATthisBUT.
i'llTRY.
hmm.
actuallyMALASarr.
andIdon'tREALLYthinkIwouldBOTHERtellingYOUbut.
guessI'LLjustTELLwhatHAPPENEDtodayTHEN.
flagDAY.
whenPEOPLEstartGOINGaroundSINGAPORE.
wavingFLAGSthatTHEYcreated.
asIF.
it'sWHEN'volunteers'GOaround.
askingFORmoney.
iMEAN.
donations.
itWAS.
kinda.
ok.
consideringTHEfactTHATiWASshunnedAWAYbyHEARTLESSpeople!
amazingly.
iWASN'TgreatlyAFFECTEDbyTHOSEpeople.
asIN.
mentally.
andPHYSICALLYofCOURSE.
instead.
iFELTmoreGRATEFULtowardsTHINGS.
orPEOPLE.
andTHAT'Sbecause.
iKEPTsayingTHANKyouTOeveryone.
eventhoughSOMEdidn'tDONATE.
someEVENjustWALKpassMEeventhoughIGREETEDthem.
thankGODiCOULDcontrolMYSELF.
kalauTAK.
theyWOULDbeSOshockedTOseeWHATevilsLIEinsideOFme.
heheh.
seriously.
then.
itWASsupposedTObeTILL4.
butIwentHOMEat2.
sebab.
iHADmadrasahEXAM.
tuPONstartAT3pm.
which.
iHAVEtoSAY.
iWASatHOME.
onMYbed.
sleeping.
evenAT3!
hahah.
notTOmentionIhadn'tSEMBAHYANGyet!.
soIwentFORmadrasahAlilBITlate.
and.
yadayadayadayada.
wentTOlookFORpspRESEARCHatTAMPINES.
andHEREiAM.
besokMOTHER'SdayANDyouGUYScanFINDmeATmyNENEKpunyeRUMAH.
weCELEBRATINGmummies'DAY!
yey.
andI'MsupposedTOgetMYdearPSPtomorrow.
nowI'MnotSURE.
tomorrowKERR.
nextMONTHkerr.
nextYEARkerr.
NEVER.
haiyo.
iREALLYwantITtomorrow.
lols.
guessI'MaLILspoilt.
aLIL.
butCAN'TsayIam.
cozIneverFORCEmyPARENTStoGETmeEVERYTHINGiWANT.
yahh.
umm.
okLA.
i'llTRYandKEEPyouGUYSupdatedWITHwhateverITis.
and.
bye.

8:11 PM

12 May 2007

umm.
there'sSOMETHINGfreakinglyWRONGwithBLOGGER.
anyways.
iHAVEN'TbeenPOSTING.
coz.
1:CCTS.
2:LAZY.
3:BLOGGER.
butNOWiGUESSiSHALLtryTOscrapeUPeveryLITTLEdetailOFthePASTseveralDAYS.
urr.
i'mNOTgoodATthisBUT.
i'llTRY.
hmm.
actuallyMALASarr.
andIdon'tREALLYthinkIwouldBOTHERtellingYOUbut.
guessI'LLjustTELLwhatHAPPENEDtodayTHEN.
flagDAY.
whenPEOPLEstartGOINGaroundSINGAPORE.
wavingFLAGSthatTHEYcreated.
asIF.
it'sWHEN'volunteers'GOaround.
askingFORmoney.
iMEAN.
donations.
itWAS.
kinda.
ok.
consideringTHEfactTHATiWASshunnedAWAYbyHEARTLESSpeople!
amazingly.
iWASN'TgreatlyAFFECTEDbyTHOSEpeople.
asIN.
mentally.
andPHYSICALLYofCOURSE.
instead.
iFELTmoreGRATEFULtowardsTHINGS.
orPEOPLE.
andTHAT'Sbecause.
iKEPTsayingTHANKyouTOeveryone.
eventhoughSOMEdidn'tDONATE.
someEVENjustWALKpassMEeventhoughIGREETEDthem.
thankGODiCOULDcontrolMYSELF.
kalauTAK.
theyWOULDbeSOshockedTOseeWHATevilsLIEinsideOFme.
heheh.
seriously.
then.
itWASsupposedTObeTILL4.
butIwentHOMEat2.
sebab.
iHADmadrasahEXAM.
tuPONstartAT3pm.
which.
iHAVEtoSAY.
iWASatHOME.
onMYbed.
sleeping.
evenAT3!
hahah.
notTOmentionIhadn'tSEMBAHYANGyet!.
soIwentFORmadrasahAlilBITlate.
and.
yadayadayadayada.
wentTOlookFORpspRESEARCHatTAMPINES.
andHEREiAM.
besokMOTHER'SdayANDyouGUYScanFINDmeATmyNENEKpunyeRUMAH.
weCELEBRATINGmummies'DAY!
yey.
andI'MsupposedTOgetMYdearPSPtomorrow.
nowI'MnotSURE.
tomorrowKERR.
nextMONTHkerr.
nextYEARkerr.
NEVER.
haiyo.
iREALLYwantITtomorrow.
lols.
guessI'MaLILspoilt.
aLIL.
butCAN'TsayIam.
cozIneverFORCEmyPARENTStoGETmeEVERYTHINGiWANT.
yahh.
umm.
okLA.
i'llTRYandKEEPyouGUYSupdatedWITHwhateverITis.
and.
bye.

9:29 PM

What do you want to know about me?

Amirul.

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Who?

Caris.
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Huh.

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